Friday, July 27, 2007

HOME SICK



I have lived for thirty years On the far side of the sea. I love the ever rolling ocean, the winds, the sailing seagulls and the big, ever changing sky.


But I am rooted elsewhere. In Sauda at the deep end of Rogaland's beautiful Boknafjord. Surrounded by 121 mountain peaks, with breath taking waterfalls and the North River foaming just below my native home.
There I was born and spent the first 18 years of my life. My father too was born there and was 86 when he died in June.


I actually have not been home since the funeral of my father. Mostly due to my mother not being home either for the time being, and me being occupied visiting other relatives in hospital.

I've had 4 incredibly busy months, visiting near and dear ones at the hospital in Haugesund. Gunnar's aunt Lilly, who is much more than an ordinary relative to us all, my father, our daughter, my best uncle Leif, a dear, close family friend, Sverre, my brother-in- law, Terje, and now Sigve lying there for two weeks before he died the day before yesterday.
That's seven of them on the same 5th floor on our hospital in four months.
And Gunnar leaving for his fourth time undergoing rather nasty examinations in the Bergen hospital in August..



Serina will be moving away for one year in August. We hope she'll have a good time, but our lives will loose their focus. She a colourful bird who's kept us fully occupied for nineteen years. She surely deserve to fly. I feel confident that the Lord will protect her and keep he safe as are his promises.

These revolving days I just could not find any rest in our home, I had to touch and smell, see and feel my roots. Gunnar and Serina were only happy to follow, and my mother came back from her visit to her roots and four siblings at Jaeren.
The rivers run high because of all the rain we've had this July. The blueberries in the mountains were ripe and scented of childhood. The paths where we used to leap and run were still there.

There are nine valleys leading down to the centre of Sauda. I was raised in one of them, with the mountains on the east and the river running in the west, southbound towards the salty fjord.

When I go to bed with an open window, the lullaby of the river makes me fall asleep in a wink.

Gunnar and Serina had to return to town for a doctor's appointment, while my mother and I just took one path at a time. We emptied some closets, went down town for groceries and flowers for the church yard (we call it church yards, because there usually is a church nearby the graves), we even had cream cakes and coffee at the local bakery and a long , nice chat with my cousin and his wife.

Finally we hung up some pictures of my father in the corner of the living room where his chair is standing.
It felt kind of good to do these little things, cry a bit, talk, long and laugh at old family jokes. "Do you remember when..."
I am blessed to visit the house that has been our home since 1951, and still is, even though my mother will have to continue mostly on her own now.
Even Serina says, "Sauda is the place where I am free."
Life has changed this summer, more than I like.
Even so I am lucky to have a place to long to, and a husband who is willingly driving, when I feel I just have to arise and go.
The Lake Isle of Innisfree
I will arise and go now,
And go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there,
Of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there,
A hive for the honey bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there,
For peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning
To where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer,
And noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now,
For always night and day
I hear lake water lapping
With low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway
Or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.
William Butler Yeats

14 comments:

hebrews 11:1 said...

Hello, Mrs. Ljung!

God's best and richest blessings on you!

Lil Pilgrim Pal

Felisol said...

Dear Lil Pilgrim Pal,
God bless and help you too. I sincerely hope that your helth has improved with your new diet. Please let me know.
Yours Felisol

Arlene - BY HIS STRIPES!!! said...

Felisol,

For sure, I am praying for peace and contentment even though it has been a very rough summer. I ask God for comfort for you and your Mom too!

Amrita said...

what beautiful, pictures, memories, and places.Who wouldn 't want to live in a place like sauda.

i 've had to take care of aging relatives too. My uncle passed away on July 24th and now his elder sister Sybil is declining pretty fast...I can deal with a sick body but her mind is going and that is hard to take. she lives with us.

its a great trial for my mom and me. but i think of Job and pray God may give me his faith.

hebrews 11:1 said...

Hello!

Yes, I believe it IS helping...but I have such a bad infection it will take a long time. I feel good, Thank the Lord, and by His grace I'm rememberin to take my supplements MOST of the time (I used to always forget!). I was really craving fruit, which I can't have for at least a month, but I hope that will pass quickly. It has been 2 weeks since I started, and except for a strange thing that happened lately, I think I am improving.

I read that one great way to de-toxify is to have a bath of as hot water as you can tolerate, and add 1/2 to 1 cup powdered clay (the kind you get at the health-food store). Apparently it draws out the toxins so well that you may feel weak after a few minutes, and must leave the bath! We thought that sounded funny...so...first my brother tried it...he is 13, and did not fel any different. Then my sister tried it...WOW...she was sweating profusely, and after soaking in it CONTINUED SWEATING! All the toxns were leaving via her sweat! I have not had time to try it yet, but will, if just for the fun of it. :)

Oh, and another thing that helps my health is that I was not getting out much, and now with walking the dog for 45 min. 3-4 times a week, I am getting good excercise. And we walk real FAST! and FAR!

God bless you,
Lil Pilgrim Pal

donna said...

Felisol...
This was a beautiful...and my first visit here...

thank you for your prayers and I shall keep you in mine...for I know your struggles have been long...

hugs
dona

Pilot Mom said...

Oh, Felisol, my heart went out to you as I sat and read your post this morning. Having gone through the very same experiences I certainly identify with all your emotions.

I visualized you and your mom working around, getting things in order, buying the groceries, etc. And then, hanging the pictures over by your father's chair---I got choked up.

These have been difficult times for you but at the same time, you have begun to heal. Albeit, ever so slowly. Thankfully, our Lord knows exactly what we need to heal our hurting hearts.

Praying for your Gunnar's tests.

And, praying for your time with your daughter as the days quickly pass leading up to her departure. I remember so vividly when our only child left for college! So many complex emotions surging through me! But, knowing that God loves our children even more than we do as their parents was such a comfort to me. She will be fine, and you will too! ;)

Blessings on your day my dear Friend!

curious servant said...

Thank you

Terry said...

Oh Felisol..I just saw this post now.
It is so stange that I put my post in today and never realized that song that I put in would go so well with your post!!
I tnink that we must be two of the same, eh?
I am a little tired now but I will enjoy reading your post tomorrow after we have our Mom and Dad tucked safely into their own apartment..
Thank you so much for all your prayers and your continuing prayers and your lovely prayer for our friend Curious Servant
It is just something how special he is to everyone of us who know him!..Love Terry

curious servant said...

I appreiate the prayer greatly.

: )

Jim said...

Hi Felisol -- I'm sorry I stayed away so long. I am semi-retired from blogging now. I must have come here often, just before July 26, anyway I missed this wonderful post.
You have a nice way with words, I followed your joys and heartaches as if I were there visiting with you.

I'm sorry about Sigve, I just found out in reading this blog.
And Serina, I know you will miss her. Is she going off to school?
The picturea of you and your mom, then that of your dad, were so revealing too.
In fact, I enjoyed all the pictures of that 'land on the far side.'
God bless you all, I am still praying.
..
Did you visit my blog since I semi-retired? I have too many things to do to keep it up until October. And, in mid-September we will be returning to the British Isles to finish our holiday.
One other item, Mrs. Jim's cousin died, her funeral was last week. The mother/grandmother is 94 or so and misses her a lot, as does the husband and children.
..
I intend to read more than I post. My posts until October will be on JIM'S LITTLE PHOTO PLACE at
http://jimmiehov6.blogspot.com/
..

curious servant said...

Thank you for your encouraging words

Saija said...

those are lovely remembrances ... and you are blessed to have lived and still live, in such a beautiful country ...

my sympathy regarding your dad's passing ... my own dad died at the age of 72 ... and leo's dad just died 3 weeks ago, at 82 ...

life is short, isn't it?

memories linger ... and again, your country is lovely beyond words ...

hebrews 11:1 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.