Wednesday, October 07, 2009

TRANSPARENT FAREWELL


Life and times fly when we are gathered, if only for a few days.
Then it's parting time again,
and she's got "that far away look in her eyes."
Together we made Turid bread and Serina's own apple cake. Cake, not pie, with melting ice.
We enjoyed an art exhibition, rock and classic music alike, and picked the last apples from our only tree.
Serina contributing all the time with double espressos, violet cow t-shirts and histories from campus and her performance as technical genius.
We shared computer problems. Serina was getting help from her dad, I was mentored by Serina and Gunnar set up his own teaching firm, and is now a com.no. Serina, like her father is such an inspiring and patient teacher; she modeled for my 101 pictures. We watched lots of feel-good DVDs, Rovered on the island in heavy autumn rain and following moonlight, while i-podding the Toreador, read and discussed Vogue, shared laughs over the local culture journalist, went treasure hunting at a flea market, dined out, in the car and at home with equal great pleasure, sorted out four huge sacks of clothing to send away for charity, teased and cuddled, did some minor shopping and puff; the bells were toiling.
How fragile, yet valuable, were those hours of togetherness.
The comings and goings are part of growing up and getting an education and a life of her own.
The only thing worse would be, our daughter not being able to do just that.
Yet;
"Parting is all we know of Heaven and all we need of hell."

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me.
Emily Dickinson.
Join the Sepia Scenes with teach Mary

30 comments:

Jim said...

Felisol, it is too bad for you that Serena has to go. But she has to. You probably did that once (or more?) in your life. Being gone does make the visiting seem sooooooo good when she comes.

But for Serena I suppose the opportunities are not where you are. That is why I left home and probably you did too. We have a saying, "how are you going to keep them down on the farm?" There may have been a song like that once.

For fun, I am thinking that she ran out of clean clothes. All of those "four huge sacks of clothing to send away" were one that you had washed for her and were waiting. Plus the ones she brought for Mom to wash this time. That is when I came home sometimes, to get Mom to wash for me.

You saw I didn't do Ruby Red this week. I am trying to slow down with the blogging.
For sure I will have a MidWeek post, either MidWeek Blues on Wed or Thursday and a Saturday post. Six Word Saturday seems to help with this. Then on Sundays I have a Poem on my other blog. And most times I will scatter in others, like RT.
..

Trish said...

Such beautiful thoughts of time spent with your daughter. Precious memories. Love your sepia photo's...Serena is beautiful!

Annie said...

Time will drag for a while, dear friend. And then suddenly, it will speed up and she will come home again. There will be that coming and going for a while but then finally, it will settle down. And thank God for emailing and IMs.

Pacey said...

That's a great entry and the words are just fitting.

Debbie said...

I can just picture how this time was for you with Serena. What a precious daughter she is! I can just feel the warmth of your love for her with your words. How much fun it seems that your time spent together was and I'm sure it went by too quickly.

I so appreciate your words to me about my depression. Yes, sometimes it's easy to feel like a failure because of dealing with this at times but I think it's good to be honest and talk about it. After all, we are sisters in Christ.

And by the way, I found another Norwegian relative on Facebook. Her name is Hilde and I had met her father years ago. I love getting to know them online too.

Blessings to you Felisol.

Love from your friend,
Debbie

Your EG Tour Guide said...

Felisol,

I do remember the pain of when my daughters each left home for the first time. And I can sill feel that pain because it doesn't ever totally go away but it does grow less, at least for me.

The good thing is that now and again they return and with them comes much joy.

I'm sending you happy thoughts through cyberspace.

Carletta said...

Felisol, when it comes to your lovely daughter we can always 'hear' the love and tenderness in your words.
My daughter and I were always close while she was growing up. Now that she is 500 miles away and two babies of her own we are still close and still share almost day to day happenings. We laugh, we cry, we love.
Thank goodness for cell phones and unlimited minutes. :)
Lovely image!

Amrita said...

Felisol, you have such a warm and close relationship with Serina, its a joy to read what you wrote. She is the ruby of your heart and Gunnar 's too.

I know how much you must miss her when she is away at school.

I would cry everyday.

All those desserts sound super with coffee to back up.

Days will speed by Felisol, and soon Serina will be home for Christmas.

This morning I got my Internet connection fixed...there was a loose cable on the roof which was causing the break.

Enjoyed reading the poem too.

John Cowart said...

You say all this beautifully...

Nevertheless, I find it hard to understand.

Must be a Dad thing, but I felt so glad when the last one finally left home! Just a different mindset I guess.

Terry said...

dear felisol...i feaated my eyes on this picture of your lovely princess yesterday and i was unable to comment but i am telling you now how beautiful she is and yet how sad...i always hate partings.
you three or i mean you four are so close..you and gunnar, mom ljung and this princess..
whenever you can you are together, working, cooking or just walking the sea shores.
don't worry dear felisol...winter will pass and then summer and princess serina will return again!
love terry

Marice said...

that is sooo sweet of u.. it shows on each wordings u have posted :) thanks for sharing this to us..

mine is up too

kaye said...

melancholy . . .
love your photo and your thoughts. If you want to wander down my road I’m home.

Mrs. Mac said...

The bittersweet of being together and parting ways .. good stuff life is made of. You have a way of enriching each other (and those of us that take a peek into your world) by being there for each other. Parting makes the reunion that much sweeter. Thanks for sharing your Serina with us.

Really, you have folks from Montana?
That's just a skip and a hop from me :)

Felisol said...

Dear Mrs. Mac,
My grandfather worked for 18 years in Montana during the depression. He lost his farm in Norway and worked hard to buy a new one.
He achieved his goal, but two of his children also came over and they settled down in Montana for good.
My mother's brother and sister are now dead, but I have four first cousins living there. Cousin Sig has been over to Norway with his wife Linda several times, and to be honest I am the onnly one who one way or the other haven't been over to America.
I also have a wonderful first cousin living right outside Chicago (from my father's side, and another first cousin traveling back and forth Norway/Seattle/Alaska all the time. He is a skipper on an Alaskan fisher boat. The worst thing is they are mostly out during the winter season.

Both my mother and father had uncles in America too from a hundred years ago or more, but we have lost contact with them.

I still remember my granddad telling about ho he met the grizzly when he was out looking for his sheep in Big Timber, Montana.
In fact when I see the bears on telli, them will always remember me of my brave granddad.
From Felisol

Mrs. Mac said...

We have many Norwegians and Danish in North Idaho. Nathan's surgeon too. I'm reading a historical account of a pioneer that lived in Montana ... he was removed from Christianity and all religion .. so he states. None the less, I enjoy wild west history and reading about life 150+ years ago. We live near part of what is known as the Lewis and Clark National Historic Trail. They were US westward expansion explorers after the Louisiana Land Purchase. Very interesting reading and Montana is a very interesting state.

Patti said...

I love what you wrote about your cherished moments with your daughter. She is beautiful, Felisol.

I understand what you are saying ~ our daughter is away at college and I believe your Serena is about the same age, 20.

Our son is away at college as well. But they are both doing fine so it's OK.

Patti said...

P.S. It's so true that the days never come back, and we should try our best to enjoy them..

thanks for visiting me!

Amrita said...

Hi Felisol just dropped by to say hello and I will be sending you an email with a message.Remember my Pastor and me in prayer as this eveing we have to meet our lawyer on church business.

maryt/theteach said...

Your daughter is so photogenic, felisol. It must be wonderful having her home! I love the poem "Hope" by Emily dickinson! :)

John Cowart said...

Hi Felisol,

Thank you for the comment you left about guidance. I appreciate what you say.

My book is still months away from publication but I intend to include your input. Thanks. You've helped me out greatly.

John

moosh said...

Felisol
A very touching post. You can tell that the two of you are very close. I moved far away from my mother for the first time in 56years. We have aways lived less than a few hours apart. Now I am 1600 miles away. Cell phones are nice but not the same as being together.

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear friend,
I have been back to visiting my friends' blogs little by little. There is still so much on my heart. I purposely did not visit your blog place until I was more settled.

The reason is that your blog is always a special place to visit. Your pictures always so beautiful, and the words that you write, so meaningful.

I had wondered what the title Transparent Farewell meant as it appeared on my blog. Kept myself from visiting until I could enjoy it fully.

Glad I did. What a lovely pensive picture of Serina. And lovelier still, the words from your heart that you wrote. Yes, it is indeed a transparent farewell. You love her dearly, you will miss her.

I cried for days when my Obedient One left our nest for Manila. I looked at her empty room a hundred times a day. I wanted to hold her close, but of course, those days are over...except in my memories.

You are not alone, although our circumstances are not the same, yet our hearts surely beat the same way.

We understand each other. You are a good mother, she is a good daughter. The same with me.

And how beautiful the Emily Dickinson poem is on Hope. It is HOPE that keeps our hearts alive.

I wish you joy, dear friend. It is time to let her go. You have raised her well. You must be so proud of her. And I am proud of you.

Love
Lidj

Terry said...

hello bestest...i am missing you.
hope everthing is going all right...love terry

Felisol said...

dearest terry,
actually things are going a bit slow at the moment, due to my lack of self restraining.
i hand to rearrange my i-pod, new lists and all that. it took my five hours of intense work on serina's old pc.
add a bit of late gardening to that and i have a full blown inflamation, right shoulder, elbow, wrist and fingers.
for a week or more i've better stay off-line. not lead myself into temptation.
be blessed dear friends.
i'll be back!
from felisol

Jim said...

Hey, cheer up. She will be back again before long. :-)
..

Jim said...

Ooops, I should have read your answer to Terry before my comment.
I hope you arm/wrist is doing better. You really were ignoring it and overdoing things quite a bit. I will wait.
..

Constance said...

Don't you just love Emily Dickinson? It's hard to let our children spread their wings and fly from the next and not feel sadness along with the joy. Knowing that your job is done, raising them to be independent and capable is our reward. Still, it's hard to believe that the days of innocence and childhood are over. sigh
Connie

Saija said...

just catching up on your life and times ... i always LOVE your Serina pictures - so serene ... :o)

we are in the midst of a season change and i'm in the midst of much thought ... that usually happens to our northerners - lots of contemplation ...

((hugs)) to you, sweet norwegian lady!

Jada's Gigi said...

Time goes by too quickly when they are home does it not? Hey, I sent you a postcard form Hawaii...didn't you get it?? Saw your comment on the Scarf blog....
BTW If you love music you would love to visit my home town...

Trish said...

Hello Felisol...just dropping by to say hello. Miss you!
Love,
trish