Sunday, January 01, 2012

New Year, Old Life



Yesterday was December 31nd 2011. Today is January 1st 2012.
I don't feel different, more hopeful or happier.
Life is as challenging as it ever has been, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Other than maybe, keep on keeping on.
Or maybe not.
With only my ME alive and kicking, I am simply an exhausted overachiever, "tight as a tourniquet, sharp as a razor blade, dry as a funeral drum."(David Gilmore)

There are good days, bed days and bad days.

Then there are these days when I feel an intense need to let all masks fall, to stop fighting, and let nature take its cause.
But, halt; nature too is created by God.
My God, the one and only.

"For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: and though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God; whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me."—Job 19:25-27


I know that, and that is all I am allowed to know about the future.
So be it.
I've decided these must be the promises, the cliff on which I shall build my New Year.
Now, I've better go to the TV and join the wonderful New Year concert in Vienna.
Great way to continue keeping on.


14 comments:

Leora said...

Well, it's nice to hear from you, and I like you as you, so I don't think you need to change to a new you...

Enjoy the coming year, with all the challenges and good times it may bring.

❀~Myrna~❀ said...

Happy New Year Felisol!
We do have Hope in Jesus. I have decided to keep on keeping on & never give up as long as He gives me this gift of life . He is always with us , He never leaves or forsakes us. That is a wonderful promise .I understand what you mean by letting the mask fall, I feel that way sometimes.
My 13 yr old granddaughter Jasmine, on her blog ,ended her post for the New year with this verse. .
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the world gives, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid". John 14 : 21
Love & Prayers

Crown of Beauty said...

...let the masks fall, to stop fighting, and to let nature run its course...

We reach that point when we know it's tiring and pointless to be the Savior of our own lives and the lives of those we love... and accept that there is a real Savior who can do a much better job.

What a beautiful picture of Serina and Gunnar you have shared here... although I must admit that the leafless trees, the bleak and cold winter day, the gray skies above... and the graveyard - these taken together make up a somber picture. The picture would be a perfect entry to a Wordless Wednesday post - it has a message all its own. It best expresses what you have said, it is still the same old life.

LOvely verse, too - I know that my Redeemer lives.

Yes my dearest dearest friend - each day is a brand new day with its glorious possibilities. His mercies are new every morning!

On this new year, may you experience God's HOPE in the real sense of the word.

Love
Lidia

Sonja said...

I can always count on you, Felisol, to make me think, and to come to your blog with expectation of a point of view that is so fresh and honest, thought provoking and always points to Jesus! Thank you for your very special friendship! We would be kindred spirits even if you werent' Norwegian, but the fact that you are makes you even dearer.

Love you my friend!

TAK TAK!!!

Sonja

John Cowart said...

Hi Felisol,

Your realism and beauty always encourages me. I think the gist of your post today is that it is winter and Spring lies far off.

Time to lie fallow (one of those bed days) and wait for the sun. It is sure to rise.

John

Terry said...

dearest felisol..i feel the sadness in this post and i know what you are going through and yet your unmoved faith in the lord has touched me and encouraged me..we too are going through hard times with mom and dad golden..their being so weakened in body and with dad golden feeling the depression of not been settled one way or the other as far as his salvation is....i have heard that the rebirth of a man or woman or child as they go through this struggle is just like the way we are waiting for the birth of a new born baby..it is the same..we wait and pray on the sidelines and just wait and wait and wait for the joy of the birth[the physical or the spiritual]...god knows and we must keep trusting...your prayer child dear "norway"...is still in the lords hands and god knows!

i tried to open the hymn here but it was disabled and tells us to go to you tube to hear it and so i shall felisol...may the year 2012 be better for you and gunnar and serina and kel and your dearest mom..love from the other side of the sea is showering upon you my dearest ever friend...love terry

Saija said...

amen - our Redeemer does live - even though our lives on earth may be coming to a close, we know our REAL life will always be with Jesus ...

may 2012 give you unexpected joys and many blessings!

Becky said...

Happy New Year!! Our Redeemer Lives!!!

Sonja said...

Dear Felisol:

Thank you for your words on my page tonight. I want you to know that I understand. I understand the pain, the fatigue and the disappointments along the way, as you are trying to do your best for your precious mom. I felt the same so many times with my mom. There are times when we simply have to stand, despite all within us that says we just can't do it. I always knew deep in my heart, that God loved my mother even more than I did, and that He hurt too.

I am praying for you and your mother, and I will be praying every day, for God to strengthen you and to tenderly care for her.

He understands, your heart and her needs.

xo

Annie said...

I am surprised at how much more honest I have become since I retired. I'm not necessarily releasing the "bad" parts of me but I'm definitely more willing to expose who I am and how I feel. I think if must be a death to one sort of life that has to be lived for others (work comes to mind) and a rebirth to being responsible to no one. Now I am closer to God and that has made me braver. If 2012 is like 2011, I will be grateful. If it is better, I will be thankful. If problems come my way, I will be accepting.

Happy New Year to you, dear friend.
Annie

Jim said...

Nicely written, Felisol. We probably are spared a lot because we don't know the future.

We do know as Job that we shall see God. I like you also know that we will stay with God that day. That is because our hope is in Jesus who overcame the grave before us and has promised to save a place.

May God bless you and have a Happy New Year for you and the family.
..

Mrs. Mac said...

Very sobering and honest post Felisol. I pray you are able to find a 'comfort' spot and bask in a sunny window to comfort your ME. Perhaps you will find a little something in the mail soon with remedies for soothing pain. May you continue to cling to the anchor of your faith .. in Him that calms the sea.

With love,

Cathy

Roan said...

Beautiful video. We never know what the new year will bring, but my hope is for yours to be filled with good things.

Amrita said...

I am very fond of that music - such hope and trust.
Yes Felisol, right now I am sort of walking in the shadow of death, but I will not fear evil, because my redeemer lives, and He will rescue me