Friday, July 06, 2007

NOT A SAINT, NOR A WHITCH, BUT A WEAK BITCH

Serina II
Serina III and IV

I am a descendant of coast women, mostly.
My fore-mothers were a long line of strong, conscious, educated, but family oriented females.

Farms on the south west coast of Norway were often too small to breed the large families.
Husbands had to seek a second outcome either by fishing, market trading, or as very often was and still is an option; Cross the Atlantic for work either in farming, mining or fishing.

Their housewives then were left alone with everyday responsibilities for house-holding, animals, feeding young and old, cultivating land and educating youngsters. A poet said, "they believe in the shilling, but seek their comfort in God."

They had to, though, 'cause the times were rough, they became worn, but their souls stayed warm.
They were trusted members of the community, but treasured cooperation the most.
They laboured as if in front of God's face, not to attract humans.

Half of my genetical inheritance come from these hardworking, stubborn, outspoken, at times, alas, self righteous..and a tiny bit narrowminded, proud and gifted survivor women..

To me that means I've got to do and say what to my best knowledge is true and right.
I've got to defend the ones that are weaker than I am, who cannot stand up for themselves.
That's how I choose my education, my occupation and later on family life.

I guess that is as far from American middle class culture as one can get.
No climbing culture, no sucking up, no backstabbing, always calling the thing by its right name.

I cannot be otherwise.
I'm struggling keeping my mouth shut, though.
"He who can strain his tongue is stronger than he who can conquer a whole town," my father used to teach me.
My best friend and colleague said, "Why do you always have to be the first to put your head on the block? Give us a chance as well!"
The other thing is learning to distinguish between people who really do ask for advice or just seek consent to keep on doing what they anyway are determined to do.
There's no use in discussing when the answer is already given. A complete waste of time and effort.

I'd rather go collecting snails in my garden.

My intention with this blog was actually to show more than one dimension of my life.
I first and foremost am a God fearing mother and family oriented woman.
I also have many skills, interests, thoughts and ideas about malfunctions in society, about hypocrisy and the real evil doers.
I actually want to be bitchy when pointing finger at topics usually swept under the carpet.

I have not been directed that way lately.

I have had to learn a hard lesson of being dependant on others, above all on God.
I don't at all like the feeling of being small and weak, it's threatening to the very core of my personality.
Nevertheless I am a richer and wiser person now than I was 6 months ago. I have endured a great loss, but also experienced what really is fireproof.
God and His Grace alone.

6 comments:

Pilot Mom said...

"God and His grace alone." Oh how rich is His grace and He pours it out on us so freely, so fully.

I am reminded, when you stated what your plans for your blog were/are, of the verse which says, "Man plans his ways but God directs his steps." (Or something close to that...I'm obviously paraphrasing.)

And you know what, Felisol? We can rest in that. We know that His best is planned for us and if that means altering our course, then so be it. What a comfort that is to me and I hope you.

I have so enjoyed getting to know you through your blog, getting to know your heart. Thank you for your transparent honesty in your sharing. Bless you my friend! :D

Terry said...

Dear Felisol...I don't think that you are that word at all.
I think that the Lord would not want you calling yourself that either.
One time when dad called Mom that, it was the first time in my life and the last that I got mad at him and said, "Don't you ever call mom that again!
My mother is a lady!"

So my dearest friend, don't you be calling yourself that either....Love Terry

Terry said...

And another thing you are NOT weak!
And another thing..You ARE a saint.
God says you are!
And I SEE you are...Love Terry

hebrews 11:1 said...

Dear Mrs. Ljung,

First I must apologize for not sitting down and writing you more often. I get stuck elsewhere, and even then I get mad at myself because I have spent too much time on these blogs, and have been neglecting hanging out in my neighborhood. I have been out of tune with my neighborhood for about 2 months, and I realized it most when a local soldier was killed in Afghanistan. I was wondring how my neighborhood was taking it, and only realized in horror that they took it very seriously indeed when I saw the streams of people dressed in black going to church! It looked like Easter, except for their clothes and somber attitude. I did not feel like being seen, because I didn't have any black on. Enough rambling about my nighborhood...

I was struck by the same phrase as Pilot Mom...God and His grace alone. What a beautiful statement. And Mrs. Shirkie said for me what I wanted to say when I first looked at your blog yesterday.

How is Serina? Is she taking any acidphilous (yogurt capsules, for instance)? I don't know what the selection is like over there, but if you can find some high-quality acidophilous capsules, please encourage her to take some to build up the lining in her instestine that was destroyed by her illness and the medication. I say this from experience...it can lead to worse problems. If it's easier, just encourage her to eat a little unflavored, unsweetened plain yogurt on an empty stomach. That will help, as well.

I love you and pray for you often.

Adjoe!

Lil Pilgrim Pal

hebrews 11:1 said...

Another thing I forgot...Thank you for your kind comment on my post on praying for Israel. I thought of you when I read a recent article in the Canadian Jewish News. Here's the link (paste it in your web address spot to get to it)

http://www.cjnews.com/TOPScnCJN/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12811&Itemid=86

Enjoy!

Lil Pilgrim Pal

Amrita said...

don 't call yourself a "b" You are a butterfly.

What a rich heritage.

what your Dad said about the tongue is right. Its the hardest thing to do. I 'm learning un this area.