Saturday, August 18, 2007


Nobody was able to explain to me
how unbearable the leaving of one's child hurts.
I've been preparing for this day at least a year now.
When Serina lay seriously ill in hospital
and last week when all the bad symptoms reemerged,
I told myself, silently,
that if she could only be well enough
to embark on her journey for life and development,
I would only be happy for her.
What a monstrous lie!
The three last nights neither Serina nor I have been able to touch bedsheets until seven in the morning.
(Fooled you, Gunnar!)
This morning they went in a fully stuffed car,
over the Long Mountains, dividing Norway in east and west.
Eight hours drive by good weather and open tunnels.
She took my heart with her.
I've been circling inside and outside our house,
totally numb,
with a lead lump where my soul used to burn.
In my despair
I've telephoned to all the mothers I know of,
who have been in a similar situation.
My sister in law comforted me.
She told, "I'm not saying that my kids are moving.
I tell myself they are away to get some education."
My mother's only words were, "I never get used to it.
It hurts like I'm going to die every time I say goodbye."
Turid said,"Don't you ever dare tell Serina how you feel.
I had three children leaving home in one year.
You knew when she was born, that she was not for keeps."
Theoretically I knew.
Now I just have to find my breath again,
and keep the nightmares from coming true.
In a month she'll be home for autumn vacation.
My flower girl knows more about herbs than most her age.
Here gathering Jasmine flowers for tea.
I hope I have been able to provide her with living water.
It's the ordinary everyday life, I'll miss the most. Big girl making her own peanut butter sandwiches.
One of the few sunny days the summer. The cooking may not be first class, but the company!!
Father and daughter combines the joy of a new laptop with watching TV in the living room.
Her whole body was hurting so badly in hospital. Silly mom had to try to get her forget.
Which made the pains even worse.
I just have welcomed the happiest russ this year.
When she's laughing, when she's laughing, the whole world laughs to me....
All our major events have been celebrated in this Chinese restaurant. Like when Serina and I lay exhausted in hospital, my mother, father, brother and Gunnar welcomed the newborn baby here. The first day at school, first ballet performance, first concert, the exams, any major occasion calls for an eight dishes menu at the old Chinese. Yesterday's farethewell meal was a success like the others..
"I Will Always Love You"
If I Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of the way
And I...
Will always
Love you,
I Will always
Love you You
My darling you
Bittersweet Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know
I'm not what you
You need
And I...
Will always love you
Will always love you You,
I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have
all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love
And I...
Will always love you
Will always love you
I will always love You....
You Darling
I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love You..

Dolly Parton & Mom