Wednesday, May 23, 2007


My dad has had another brain damage, caused by a blood clot this time, and he is probably going to die.
For nine days we have been around him all day, doing everything possible to ease his pains and make contact.
We see him following us with his eyes as we move around in the room.
His face is calm and relaxed when he's listening to his favourite music.
When we touch him, touch his skin lightly, balm his body, put cold towels to his forehead, he shows small signs of contentment.
Yesterday when I accidentally made a scar inside his mouth when cleansing it, he rose up in shock of the sudden pain.
Yet the doc who is in charge has ordered all medical treatment stopped.
No oxygen, no antibiotics, no i.v.
She has promised to give him painkillers, though.
Our entire family is in sorrow at the aspect of loosing a highly beloved father, husband, brother and grandfather.
Watching his pains, seeing him trapped in his body, unable to speak, that's beyond description.
Even so we've had to fight a horrible fight against the doctor stopping the i.v.
His heart is steadily beating 80 strong strokes pr. minute, he's breathing without an oxygen mask, he feels pain, reacts to sounds and light.
Pulling out the i.v. tube will make him die a slow, painful death of thirst.
That's murder.
It's done every day in every hospital in our country.
My mother firmly stood against the young career woman from Germany.
"I've believed in God my whole life," she said, "and I will not let people take my husband's life, even if it's more convenient than having to sit by his bedside day after day. God is our creator, let him also be the one to take us home in his time."
Gee, was I proud of my mum.
It would have been so easy to say "the doctor knows what's best, and dad's perhaps better being put out of his miseries."
It would have been all wrong, though. It would also have been a betrayal of all my father believes in. For four years he has endured the slow decaying of his body after his brain hemorrhage. No complaints, top effort to manage every day problems, with lots of help from my mother and nurses visiting five times a day.
No, he shall neither suffer, nor have his days shortened by some money counting godless health worker.
We fight, mourn, pray, and cling to our Lord's promises. My father has very likely finished his journey on this earth very soon. That I must accept.
When he leaves, however, it must be the Lord's will being done, not any none-caring medic's.
Thanks for all care and prayers. We would not have managed without.
PS. The nurses have been devoted caretakers all the time. They work around the clock to improve their patients' situation. They are neither paid nor appreciated by their employers as they should be.


Felisol said...

Hebr.11.1"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
What a wonderful signature. Special thanks to you for your warm empathy.

Terry said...

Your mother is right Felisol!
I have always hated this in my job where a person is dying and even aspirins have been denied them.
In Canada, it is up to the family.
My sister, Betty and I are in charge of our dad's wishes and he refuses the DNR.
He says he wants all of the help that the doctors and nurses can give to him, and so if it means our fighting the system, we will be like your brave little mother.
The doctors don't know what is best.
GOD does!

Your dad looks just like a wee angel!
It must be so hard on you and I feel so bad.
Surely all of your friends are praying and praying Felisol.
It is really strange that I never even you guys until just a few months ago and now I love you so much!!...Love Terry

Terry said...

Good morning Felisol
It is 830 am here and I am just on my way out of the door but I just wanted to say hi to you and tell you that I am still praying for your dad and asking the Lord to keep His loving arms around him and all of you's..

Yesterday I took my mom to see Aunt Marion and just when we got home, Dad was coming in so I got to take a few pf picutres of them,
Dad is so dizzy these days that it I am afraid sometimes he is going to fall.
I phoned the doctors to tell him this and asked how long dad would be on the waiting list.
The girls gave me no answer, so I had Betty phone and she got to the bottom of it and now we are told that he will have an appointment on June 1.
My dad was relieved to hear this.
I think that there is a lot of people praying for him becasue his attitiude has been one of peace.

Well I will see you later Felisol.
I am taking my niece to St Catharines for an appointment.
She has finally decided to, after having a few bad years with being in the "world" that it was time for a change and she wants to be doing the "better" things in life.
It is so hard for the young people today!
God's blessings on you Felisol...Love Terry

Unknown said...

Dear Elise,

Thank you for your concern, especially amidst all you are going through.
I was actually in a happy, positive state of mind when I wrote that. The verse you shared was part of the message in the post.
The statement I was going for was that evil tries to deceive us constantly, all while hiding itself in the shadows. If we recognize it, refuse it and call it out, it then tries to frighten and manipulate us. It thinks it is so powerful.
My point is that it is not as powerful as HE is. It is not as powerful as WE are. And it is not more powerful than I am.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you remain strong at your fathers' side.

Love, Justin

Terry said...

Dearest Felisol....How could I have possibly imagined as I was reading an online book so happily that I would hear the little ding that tells me that someone has written me and that after checking and seeing it was YOU, that I would be crying?!!
And that is exactly what I am doing!
How did you ever know that it was Bernie's birthday?
How kind you are to send him birthday wishes!!
I must call him in and let him read it!!
Thank you so much!!
I will wipe away my tears before I get the laddie in here...
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!...Love Terry

Unknown said...

Not to worry, I bark a lot but rarely bite:-)

Do not feel bad. We are all unworthy. It is in knowing this and trying to become better that HE deems us worthy.

And from what I know about you, "loser" is the furthest thing from what / who you are.

I am so glad to hear that you all got to spend some good time with your father today.

Er sterk, min venn.

Love, Justin

Sue Seibert said...

Yes, Dear Felisol, our prayers are with you and your family. How awful that the doctor is trying to make such decisions. Bless you all for standing up to her.

God is with you as are your friends. Noone has the right to make such a decision. That is murder. I wish I was there to hold you hand, but know I am holding it from here in Texas.

BTW, I will get out at some point and take a photo of a well in production. There is a lot of drill going on right now for what we call Barnette Shale Gas.

Again, love to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Felisol, for the heads-up on Mr. Shirkie's when is Mrs. Shirkie's, or did I miss it already?!

Praying for you daily,
"Hebrews 11:1"

Felisol said...

Dear Hebrew 11.1
I might tell you, but then we have to meet on a safe place..
Or we might try your turf:

"before the mountains were settled in place,
before the hills, I was given birth,"
You might want to give a sign, if you got the clue.

Felisol said...

P:S: Can't thannk you enough for praying for me and mine.
Now you and you sis? are onmy list too.

Anonymous said...

The other morning during my Bible reading I read a Scripture that I felt to share with you:

For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee...When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the LORD will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them...That they may see, and know, and consider, and understand together, that the hand of the LORD hath done this, and the Holy One of Israel hath created it. Isaiah 41:13, 17, 20.

Oh, and thank you for that verse. It took me a minute of hard thinking, but I got're smart!

God bless you and be with you.

"Hebrews 11:1"

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your prayers for my sister and I...our family has been going through a bit of a tough time lately. Then again, my neighbor's family is going through an even harder time as they cope with the pain of divorce, and they aren't saved...please pray for them, too. They are like family to us, because we are very close.

Felisol said...

Dear Hebrews 11.1,
I like the way you are caring for your next of kin. Friends are the relatives we choose, such as your neighbours.. We'll all pray, first for salvation and then for a reconcilation, if possible.
There are two things that comfort me.
First, that prayers don't expire on date. Once we've laid our worries in front of God, He'll allways remember.
Second, we are not to judge who's a Christian or not. I've met so many who say they pray every night, or else when in need. Somehow they don't feel worthy too call themselves saved.
Of course they are saved. Everyone who calls upon me shall be saved, Jesus said.
I just wish the threshold to call oneself a Christian would not be so high.
I my very lay opinion one can pray and believe and the rest is the grace of God.
I don't even have the very strong Hebrew 11.1 belief, I'm more like Peter: "Lord to whom should I go?"
All I can do is to come to Jesus. He'll have to fix the rest.

The wonderful words you sendt me from Isaiah was allready answered. my father is getting all the medic supplies we can ask for. The doc will be otherwise instructed by her superiors for the future.
It's almost too much somtimes, to find that every hair is nubered like every grain of sand.